I used to call myself a type-A productivity-addict. The only immediate trust I’d deploy was to scientific evidence and first principles-based logic. I’d be recommended meditation and nod politely while thinking any free 20 minutes of mine will be spent doing something useful. And no way in hell could you come near me with talk of chakras, energy flows, or auras. Like any conviction, this became my identity, internally and externally. It’s what I told myself, it’s what I told others. That’s how our identity boxes start, words we tell ourselves then words we tell others lead to reaffirming cycles of behavior that make us believe this is who I am and this is who I’ll always be— a type-A, results-driven health nut who trusted science and logic only, had little belief in the power of mindfulness, would never touch psychedelics and relied on heavy weights for meditation. Thankfully, I live in San Francisco where those rigid (I’d argue, east coast-driven) perceptions are invited to smooth, expand, and grow if you let it. I let it. I continue to openly let it, eagerly embrace it. Moving here drastically changed my life in the objective sense of work, relationships, experiences, but even more drastically it’s expanded my reality perceptions and smoothed my mental grooves. Smoothed the patterns of thinking that formed boxes around my reality and self identity, that limited me to the boundless beauty that living can be. It’s invited an excited doe-eyed awareness to the endless possibilities of how I can live, how I can thrive. That’s what thriving is I think, living from the mindset that you are boundless and this experience is boundless. Now let my practical self kick in (still there), how has this presented itself? I meditate for 20 minutes every morning using Tara Brach’s guided recordings. After months of this I’ve been able to carry what I call a higher mindset (nonreactive, open, inviting, calm, present) from the morning meditation throughout the rest of my day. I did a guided 5-meO-DMT experience, that’s for another post or more likely in-person conversation. I write daily, and recently expanded that from analytical blog posts to creative fiction. I’ll save the remaining amalgam of mind-opening practices for another day. The self that moved here from DC would’ve looked at me in shock, disbelief, and likely close-minded disapproval. The stark contrast of who I am today and who I was just 4-5 years ago is refreshing evidence of our potential, and proof that we can define our lives and our identities if we choose to, that change is easy and natural if we turn towards it.
We are merely explorers of infinity in the pursuit of absolute perfection